Jokes #1

With many more light-hearted notes to come, I'd start this with #1

SQL Haversine formula

This will give you the straight-line a.k.a "as the crow flies" distance between 2 geospatial coordinates.

(6371.392896*2*ATN2(SQRT((sin((radians(GeoLatitude - @lat2Compare)) / 2) * sin((radians(GeoLatitude - @lat2Compare)) / 2)) + (cos(radians(GeoLatitude)) * cos(radians(@lat2Compare)) * sin(radians(GeoLongitude - @long2Compare)/2) * sin(radians(GeoLongitude - @long2Compare)/2)))
, SQRT(1-((sin((radians(GeoLatitude - @lat2Compare)) / 2) * sin((radians(GeoLatitude - @lat2Compare)) / 2)) + (cos(radians(GeoLatitude)) * cos(radians(@lat2Compare)) * sin(radians(GeoLongitude - @long2Compare)/2) * sin(radians(GeoLongitude - @long2Compare)/2)))
)))